Saayman Says … Golfing Weblog

Hi all

Thanks to all that follow my blog for your kind comments regarding my passing my tests. For some technical reason these are not appearing on my blog. I am in the process of trying to find the solution to this.

Keep on swinging!

Cheers

Geoff

Hi all

I passed, even with the tests being in German. I passed!!!!!!!!!!! So now I move onto the next year and lets see where this takes me. Its going to be tough I am sure but hey thats what makes it fun! You see, you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Keep on swinging!!!!!

Cheers

Geoff

I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with ‘the girls’ a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, just some friends from work, you don’t know them.’ I try to stay awake and look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her. Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole area when she arrived home from a night out with ‘the girls.’ When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at
that moment, crouching behind my golf clubs, that I noticed a hairline
crack where the grip meets the graphite shaft on my 3-wood. Is this
something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro-shop where I bought it?

Signed,
Golfer In Distress

Hi all

Found this while working and had to share it with you all.

RULES FOR BEDROOM GOLF

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play — normally one
club and two balls.

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and
keep the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course
owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid
damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until
the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may
result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon
arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to
admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played,
or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset
course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own
protection.

10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly
scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time.
Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone
else playing on what they considered to be a private course.

11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all
times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be
temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this
situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when
this is the case.

12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush
around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with, and
approach to the hole.

13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before
attempting to play the back nine.

14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to
proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request
(Course time is Four to Five Hours).

15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play
the same hole several times in one match.

Keep on swinging!

Cheers

Geoff

Hi all

I have been lucky enough to arrange a really really good deal at Arabella Golf Course near Cape Town, South Africa.

Included: 2 weeks in a beautiful home overlooking holes 6 and 7, includes breakfast and supper and some good South African wine with your meal. There will be drinks such as fruit juices, cold drinks (it gets hot in South Africa!!) and snacks available to nibble on.

Excluded: Flight, lunches, car hire, golf, and travel insurance.

Dates: 16 January 2012 to 29 January 2012

Price: CHF 2450.00 per person sharing/single supplement of CHF 500.00 i.e single person pays CHF 2950.00

I need to confirm this by latest 20 December 2011 so if interested call (079 743 4616) or mail me as soon as possible.

Keep on swinging.

Cheers

Geoff

-Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. -Grantland Rice

-Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. -John Updike

-It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. -Robert Lynd

-If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. -Horace G. Hutchinson

-They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. -Gardner Dickinson

-If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they’d starve to death. -Sam Snead

-Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. -William Wordsworth

-If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. -Dean Martin

-If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don’t have to waste energy going back to pick it up. -Tommy Bolt

-Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one. -Bishop Sheen

-I don’t say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced. -Arnold Palmer

-My handicap? Woods and irons. -Chris Codiroli

-The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top. -Pete Dye

-I’m hitting the woods just great, but having a terrible time getting out of them! -Buddy Hackett

-The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf. -Billy Graham

-If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. -Jack Lemmon

-Its good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. -Mark Twain

-Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. -Harry Vardon

-Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either of them. -Raymond Willis

-May the ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters or small round sandy regions. -Ben Hogan

-If I hit it right, it’s a slice. If I hit it left, it’s a hook. If I hit it straight, it’s a miracle. -All us hackers

-The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie. -George Deukmejian

Keep on swinging!

Cheers

Geoff

Hi all
Have to rewrite 2 theory exams as I did not pass!!!! Passed my practical tests “very well” so happy about that.
At Sun City in South Africa at the moment, hot as hell but enjoying it.
Keep on swinging.
Cheers
Geoff